Monday, April 23, 2007

Why can't a woman be more like a man!?

"Let's Go" she calls down stairs. We are planning to go garage sale-ing on a beautiful sunny Saturday. I suggested she take a shower before we head out so she'll feel a little better during the day's activities, but it took 20 minutes longer then I expected. So I called "OK" back up the stairs and a few minutes later carried Sam upstairs to get him cleaned off. When to my surprise I found out that "Let's Go" doesn't mean what I thought it meant. Mentally I run though a few different languages to see if I understood the phrase correctly: gehen wir! vamanos! (confirmed with Dora!) So at least in German and Spanish it seems to imply leaving the house very soon/I'm ready now after a long shower.

Why then is the said woman not even dressed at the time of saying Vamanos? I can't explain it. No, meow meow meow meow was going through my mind when spoken to, I didn't miss anything. It must just get lost in translation from the female to the male. Even the many Der Die Das/masculine feminine neuters of the German language is nothing compared to understanding the complexity of the female language. Unfortunately, once this is posted I will be a Das Mann instead of a Der Mann.

This brought to mind a most noble and truth telling song from My Fair Lady: A Hymn to Him.

Here are a few of the Lyrics:

Women are irrational, that's all there is to that! There heads are full of cotton, hay, and rags! They're nothing but exasperating, irritating,vacillating, calculating, agitating, Maddening and infuriating hags!

[To Pickering]Pickering, why can't a woman be more like a man?


HIGGINS:Yes... Why can't a woman be more like a man? Men are so honest, so thoroughly square; Eternally noble, historic'ly fair; Who, when you win, will always give your back a pat. Well, why can't a woman be like that? Why does ev'ryone do what the others do? Can't a woman learn to use her head? Why do they do ev'rything their mothers do? Why don't they grow up- well, like their father instead? Why can't a woman take after a man? Men are so pleasant, so easy to please; Whenever you are with them, you're always at ease.

Anyways, we did make it to two garage sells and got some excellent deals, including two dolphin squirt guns for a dime!!!!


acte gratuit said...

So THIS is why you kept asking if I'd love you "no matter what".

EVERY woman knows that "let's go!" means "Get the kids dressed, put their socks and shoes on, get them and yourself in the car, start the car, and by the time you've done all that, I'll be ready to go!"

Sheesh! It's SIMPLE!

Lindsay Dunn said...

LOL... come on Doug, you've been married for 6 (or is it 7?)years now, you should be fluent in female!

Mrs. Dub said...

maybe you should just set your watch 20 minutes slow. i mean, are dolpin squirt guys not worth the wait? not to mention a primped and proper wife?

as for the reference to "my fair lady" ... i have a sneaking suspicion you speak more female than you're letting on here.

Sheba said...

Bug: Take a good look at the pic you downloaded into this very "sassy" post. The black and white one. Do you notice the look on Audrey's face? Men can provoke that look so unknowingly,easily and often. Why on earth would we want more creatures running around provoking such feelings and looks? I'm sure you had the kids pottied, dressed appropriately, hair and teeth brushed, faces washed, fed, and ready in the car. I'm sure you had a car snack ready along with wipes and water. I'm sure you thought of all that while waiting for an 8 3/4 months pregnant wife to get her cute little self down the stairs and into the VAN!!

g said...

Youre askin for it! Those are fighting words!

Foot Handle Pete said...

"Say what you mean and mean what you say." I think that I could live with that. Of course I don't want a women to look like a man just think like one. I'm with you on this. FHP

Bartimaeus said...

Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow...BTW I don't agree with the song (at least not all of it) but it is a pretty funny part of the movie.

mr. underhill said...

Wow, you do have a point .... and a death wish. However, I do think you should have used another movie to make your point rather than one that would be quoted by the very sex you are commenting about. Just an observation. Well written though, that is for sure.

m. bee. said...

lets go does indeed mean, "you best have everything ready by the time i walk down stairs because i have no desire to do it myself" or...thats what i mean when i say it. but yeah, women arent that hard to undersand man....just make them happy and you wont have any problems. its the truth.

shelly belly said...

i was talking to the bishop and peggy about seminary and they said stuff about the expression "evenly yolked" a while ago. i didn't know what they meant and then they started talking about oxen. i still didn't get it, so then they used you and em as an example. (so now i get it.)

conclusion: bishop, peggy, and i think that the two of you are very evenly yolked.