Fear Factor

I think it started on Tuesday when one of the dental techs came around asking for volunteers for Friday's Fear Factor Challenge. I was in the middle of a procedure, most likely with nitrous oxide (as I must not have been thinking clearly), when he asked me and my tech. We both agreed to it and, being a loyal team, joined up as Fear Factor partners.

Fast forward to Friday, we go to one of the base parks for a Dental Squadron picnic. Knowing that gross eating most likely awaited me in the "challenge" I decided to go ahead and eat the picnic food, thinking that I may as well has something that tastes good in my stomach if I was to ralph latter on, (If you know what I mean). So eventually the challenge began...

There were six teams of two and three rounds. The first round I thought would be easy...an egg toss and I've always considered myself a good egg tosser.* But when I found out exactly what it entailed I feared I couldn't do it. My partner, Airman Forster, had to spin around ten times and then run 15 feet to the eggs and throw 3 to me. I then had to crack them into a cup and drink/swallow them. Yeah, did I mention I have an egg thing?** So, it started and I got one egg cracked into the plastic cup but the other two wouldn't crack so I used my forehead. Then started chuggin'. The first two slipped down fairly easily, then I thought "I have an egg thing." The third made it down as well with only a little bit of an urge to vomit. I was pretty proud of myself and I think my muscles got stronger from the raw eggs proteins.

Two teams were eliminated in round one and then it was on to the next round. I thought I was off the hook now since I had done the nasty egg drinking. Nope. Of course it got worse. We live in the land of uncooked food.

The picnic table was set up with about six different plates with medicine cups filled with different delicacies. Each plate had a playing card in front of it. We each, both partners, choose two cards and had to each one item from the corresponding plate. I got to have a cup of gooey salmon eggs and some chopped up fish "stuff." I tried to combine the two but the eggs stuck to the cup and I was left with only only ball of salty, slimy, fishing mass sitting on my tongue, waiting to be swallowed. With many cheers, and jeers, from the rest of the clinic, I tried to swallow "it." It made its way to the back of my throat where the posterior part of the tongue meets pharynx on to be rejected and sent back to the front of my mouth. This went on for about 3 or 4 tries until it successfully teetered down my throat. The same process followed with the slimy eggs. I didn't dare chew them and I think that was a wise decision. It turned out some of the other items were even worse, at least texture wise.

Round three involved three teams. One teammate was blindfolded, me, and after being spun around multiple times (not wise after eating what had been eaten) carry an egg on a plastic spoon in ones mouth until they find the other partner. Once found, partner 2 cracks egg into some nasty concoction of soy milk, Japanese crackers, and I think little minnow type fish. That was bad., and looked absolutely horrible and there was lots! Luckily I only had to carry the egg that time. We almost won until team in last came through with some fast chugging of the nastiness.

Despite the extreme nastiness, I had fun doing it. I also now understand why I was the only officer involved in the event. I think it was mostly the new people who were brave/dumb enough to sign up!

Here are a few other notable contestants. The last two were the winning team, Sgt James, the girl came through in the clutch chugging down the fish milk concoction.

*I won a giant pumpkin in sixth grade for either an egg toss or egg carry.

**My eggs have to be cooked just right or they make me queasy. If my scrambled eggs are too dry on the edges or if something is slightly off with the texture it ruins it for me.

***My bowels may never be the same.