Saturday, August 25, 2007

THE Stay At Home Mom

(Preface: Yes there are situations where one cannot stay at home with one’s children. This is not a post of condemnation or judgment, but rather a simple praise of my wife following our 7th anniversary. So don’t be unduly offended.)

Recently my wife took a lot of flack for expressing her opinion about being a stay at home mom on musing and misadventures. I would like to praise her for not backing down in the face of a heated debate and for defending her point of view.

Emily has sacrificed very much to stay at home with our children. One blog comment in response to E’s suggestion to go without some of the modern day conveniences/necessities said: “cable TV, 2 cars and cell phones, etc. Do you go without any of these things? Does anybody you know sacrifice these things? I doubt it.” Ah, yes she has gone with out all of those things for the first six years of our marriage. We never paid for cell phones, Internet, TV until our recent change in location. Some of our friends still don’t in order to allow the mom to stay at home with their children.

Why stay at home then? E is the most nurturing mother I know (sorry mom). She is so full of love for our boys. They have benefited by her constant presence so so much. It is an invaluable blessing they and I have. I would gladly take on 200,000 of debt and sell my self to the Air Force to enable her to stay home with our babies. To see the constant nurture, care, and love she gives the boys all day is amazing. These are the things that can’t be replaced by a nanny, babysitter, day care, or even a father. Sometimes I wish she could go work and I could stay home, but they wouldn’t quite get the same loving tenderness offered by her.

This is the reason I married her. I observed her with her nieces and nephews, as well as with my own. She loved those little kids and took such great care of them that I knew she would be an exceptional mother. I wanted to find someone as good as my sisters and mom (all of whom have always stayed at home with there collective 15 children). They were a great example to me and all contributed to the qualities I want to find and did find in Emily. (So this post and be for them too).

It isn’t easy for her to do this day after day, but I am so grateful to have found a wife who puts her children’s welfare and nurture before her own and does not complain about it (too much). In all or my journal reading and literature reviews I've done I haven't yet come across an article saying there is a maximum amount of time a child needs to be with its mother. The more the better and there is no substitute for my kids being able to be with her. (And she is a much better writer then me)

9 comments:

Lindsay Dunn said...

I have to say - Emily is absolutely amazing. I read her comments and the responses on M&M and I have to say that I agree 100% with Em. She is obviously a wonderful mother and person! Way to make it happen for your children Doug! That makes you a magnificant father!

Mrs. Dub said...

well said, doug.

sorry that my blog had to be the source of the whole thing, but i'm glad you have yours to praise your wife for doing something that will truly make a difference in our world, in her life and in your family.

here's to em!

Jenni said...

You are such a great husband Doug! What a great wife you have! It does take a lot to stay at home and mother children, but I am glad I do it.

Lanie said...

Thanks for that Doug! I think that it is a good reminder, not only that Emily is amazing, but also that it is worth the sacrifices we make, even if we don't always see the benefits right away. Miss you guys! We're so sad we won't see you in SD but hopefully one of these days . . .

m. bee. said...

so i love my beautiful aunt emily. shes my (along with all my other aunts, grandmas, mother.) role model. i want to be her. seriously...im gonna dye my hair brown and cut it super sexy short as soon as im married. haa. jk. so douglas, we are going to sea ranch next weekend, and as i lay dreaming of all the pictures i'm going to take i remembered a story i'm going to share...here goes.

it was sun set, you and em and max came with us. you grabbed your camera and we ran to the clif to take pictures.

cute huh?

i love you guys.

acte gratuit said...

Honey,
You DID take out $200,000 in debt and sell yourself to the AirForce. And I praise you for it!!! I love you. Thank you for supporting me!!!

Jessi said...

What a beautiful tribute! It's so nice to hear those values validated. Emily seems like the coolest lady. I totally want to be her friend. :)

superherotrainer said...

Very well put and a wonderful tribute to your wife.

Retep Graybeard said...

I knew Doug as a young whelp, all of 18 years at the time. I am not surprised by this post for two reasons. 1. The man has always had his priorities straight. 2. Although I have only been around his family once or twice, it is obvious the apple did not fall far from the tree.